I’m going to get personal with you here. Things are changing over here at Momentum and there is a strong reason for that.
A little over two years ago I became acutely aware that I was deeply unhappy. Like want to stay in bed, not see anybody and cocoon myself. Even though nothing was going “wrong” in my life, I felt like I was on a treadmill. Every day looked the same. Every conversation looked the same. Every. Complaint. Looked. The. Same.
I decided something had to change. I decided to painstakingly move forward off of my comfy “treadmill” and wish for more. I dreamed up a new project and began pursuing it (you’ll get to see it in January!) and began to set 4 very specific goals for myself. I had a need for mental space to dream up what would make me feel happier about life and more excited about work.
This change within me sparked many other changes in my life. My relationships, my friendships, my work and my attitude to name a few. The same old stories and way of doing things weren’t cutting it anymore. Unfortunately, I am not one who handles big, life changes like this easily. I resist. A lot. So basically, while many look like butterflies emerging from their cocoon, my transition probably looked like a little more like Frankenstein or the Hulk. Not so pretty.
First, I wound myself into such a tight emotional ball that I could no longer really feel anything. Cocooned in a sphere of tattered string so that real life looked fuzzy and no one could truly hurt me. Or even really see me. Then, I poured myself into as much work as possible. This was half pursuing some of those goals I mentioned and half to avoid the hurt and anger that was bubbling to the surface. So, nights, weekends and pretty much every waking moment was client work. Finally, once I hit 2 of my 4 goals, I gave myself permission to relax a little bit. And then the ultimate unravel began.
The Ultimate Unravel
The ultimate unravel happens when you begin to tug on the end of that string and the whole mess of you unravels and tumbles out into the open. Hurt, angry, hopeful, scared, uncertain … it’s all there. It’s a really beautiful thing.
How can I say that spilling your emotions out into the open can be a beautiful thing? Because, to me, being real is the most beautiful thing of all. Once you let it all spill out, you are finally free to take a long hard look at it. And confront it. What the heck is causing such pain in your life that you wanted to hide away? To escape? To withdraw? What’s still working? What is no longer needed?
Grow. Expand. Learn. Accept. Wish.
“You can’t correct what you aren’t willing to confront.”
Once you start to tug on that string there is no going back. Your timeline begins to unravel and major shifting lessons and truth inevitably spill out with it. This can be uncomfortable, but trust me, that little cocoon was far more unsavory (even if it was necessary to understand things). It was too small, too stuffy and way too lonely.
What emerges is a sense of freedom. To feel what you feel, to want what you want and to be real without judging what you’re feeling or wanting. What is interesting about being real is that it doesn’t look like perfection.
REAL life often looks more like this:
- Business is going great AND no one signed up for my last workshop.
- Vacation was awesome AND we totally got testy over where to spend the last day.
- Dinner was so yummy with great conversations AND I got the farthest parking spot from the restaurant.
- My friends are amazing AND sometimes they just don’t get me.
- I am so grateful for the job I have AND some days I think about doing something else.
- I would never choose another family AND sometimes they drive me nuts.
- The view at the top of my hike was beautiful AND I froze my buns off.
- My trip home was uneventful in the car AND I still wished for a teleportation device.
What does this mean?
Life is messy and chaotic and sometimes we wind ourselves up so tight to protect ourselves because things aren’t perfect and we’re afraid to admit it. Because, you know, the rest of the world is so perfect they can’t possibly know something went wrong in your life. *I’ll admit it, I actually rolled my eyes writing that sentence.*
Sure, we may experience some pretty perfect moments and they are just grand. Like walking down the street on a gorgeous day with your head up to the sky, taking a deep breath and enjoying the summer breeze. But more often life throws in a sticky situation. Like immediately after taking that deep breath, walking right into a big wad of gum.
Do you let your day be ruined? Or do you laugh and thank the Universe for trying to help you stick to the moment and become more grounded? Literally. There is often humor in life’s little magic. Keep an eye out for it 😉
I’d like to start a movement to get real. Unravel. It’s messy and it’s snotty and it’s so vulnerable. Listen to what needs to be spoken within. Lean in to what life is requesting. Let go. It’s so much more NATURAL than letting it build and grow and take over. Once you’re through the raw emotion of it, the lessons help you grow into a much stronger person, a more grounded version of you and hopefully you gain permission to be real. Because your true friends loved you through the pain. The people with heart around you allowed you to be yourself. To have both negatives and positives in your life. And hopefully you can offer them the same grace.
Peace, love and momentum,
MOMENTUM COACHING CHALLENGE: Be honest today. What do you need? What do you want? What needs to be said? What needs to be felt? Gift yourself with honesty.